Thursday, July 27, 2006

Ignorance, Politics Prevail Over Economic Logic in Chicago

Council defies Daley, OKs 'living wage'

Defying Mayor Daley and challenging Wal-Mart and Target to follow through on their threats, a bitterly divided City Council voted Wednesday to require Chicago's big-box retailers to pay employees a "living wage" of at least $10 an hour and $3 in benefits by 2010.

Oh, fuck. Not again. Look, we've been over this already.

No matter how damning or conclusive the evidence against these economic fallacies, moronic decrees such as this one continue to zoom through ignorant legislatures and city councils like shit through a goose. Um, guys? The laws of economics can be neither repealed nor replaced by political will. Please, just stop.

As usual, Lew Rockwell sounds the proper note on this issue:

The debate over minimum wage laws goes to the very core of how we view the relationship between economics and politics. Politicians who enact these laws imagine themselves as central planners magically bringing compassion and high living standards into being with the stroke of a pen. People who support the laws have a flawed view of the market process that sees exploitation behind all exchange relationships. Unions that back them are selfishly using the political process to enrich themselves at others' expense.

Only economic libertarians understand the actual reality: the minimum wage is a violent imposition on the freedom of association that harms all of society in the long run.

Please read the whole thing. I promise it's worth the time.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Another Turd From Gene Wojciechowski

Like with most things, ESPN the Plucky Upstart was way more appealing than ESPN, Corporate Juggernaut. People forget this now but the network used to be something of a maverick; for those of us old enough to have been weaned on four minutes of sports coverage at the end of the 11 PM local news, "SportsCenter" was a revelation: irreverent, spontaneous, fun. Now, the network consists of little more than irritating "talent", lame sentimentality, and "original entertainment."

For the most part, ESPN.com is an outpost for the network's lame corporate mentality: better to traffic in safe, bland, and predictable opinions than to shake up the status quo. Outside of the Sports Guy, few of ESPN.com's columnists challenge conventional wisdom or rock the boat in any way.

Besides the execrable (wretched? insufferable? I struggled to settle on just the right adjective) Skip Bayless, perhaps no ESPN.com writer better personifies this depressing trend than Gene Wojciechowski. If there's a prevailing wisdom on an issue, you can bet ol' Gene has his hands wrapped tightly around the bandwagon reins. Anyway, his latest ode to ennui can be found here. I'm not feeling charitable:

Next year's ESPYS should include a new category: Best Performance By An Outraged Lawyer On Courthouse Steps. I nominate Jeff Borris, a lawyer for Barry Bonds who simply can't understand why federal prosecutors keep picking on his poor little client.

While we're creating new ESPY categories (and nice ESPYs plug, you sly devil), how about Most Nauseating and Unwarranted Moralizing by a Sportswriter. Lots of nominees as usual but I'm pulling for ya, Gene.

"We should be paying tax dollars trying to locate bin Laden," said Borris to the minicams last week. "Isn't he Public Enemy No. 1?" (Memo to Bonds: I don't know what you're paying this guy, but if it's more than a dab of Atomic Balm, a wad of chaw and a handful of sunflower seeds, it's too much).

I could make the same observation about what ESPN is paying you, Gene, but that would be...cheap. And it would seem Borris has a point, since you made no effort to refute the man.

Borris, Bonds and the rest of his legal team are nuts if they think the feds are going away. The Feds are Belushi in "Animal House": "Over? Did you say, 'over?' Nothing is over until WE decide it is!"

Oh my G-d, the feds are so not Belushi in "Animal House." When was the last time you heard a member of the federal government (besides Clinton) say, "My advice to you...is to start drinking heavily"?

Borris can yammer on until his habeas needs a new corpus.

Um...what?

Michael Rains, another Bonds attorney with a penchant for courthouse-step sound bites, can accuse the government all he wants of conducting an investigation that has morphed, he says, into "a persecution." The feds don't care. They're used to hearing indignant defense lawyers talk tough, although the thing about finding bin Laden was probably good for a few laughs.

They found it fucking hilarious, no doubt.

Until Greg Anderson, Bonds' boyhood friend and former personal trainer, agrees to testify before a grand jury, the feds will keep reaching into their legal toolbox for more screws. Martha Stewart, who served time for, among other things, lying to federal investigators, can explain how that works.

I'm not sure which is worse here, Gene: your shaky interpretation of the Martha Stewart case or your contemptible cheerleading for the feds. Dick.

Meanwhile, defense attorneys defend, prosecutors forge ahead, legal experts opine. That's fine. But if you take sandpaper to all the verbal posturing and lawyerese in this case, you're left with a simple question: Why won't Anderson talk?

And unless you're Greg Anderson, Barry Bonds, or one of their attorneys, you're left with a simple answer: we have no fucking idea. We're not privy to the facts. You can speculate that he's covering up for Bonds. I'll speculate that he's been friends with Bonds for most of his life and that his loyalty eclipses whatever threats the feds are making. Maybe he objects to the bullying and demands for answers to questions that the feds have no right asking.

Think about it. Bonds and his attorneys say the San Francisco Giants outfielder has done nothing wrong. Didn't lie to the grand jury. Didn't lie on his taxes. Didn't take performance-enhancing drugs -- at least, not "knowingly."

OK, let's pretend they're telling the truth. Let's pretend Bonds is the victim of a government and media conspiracy, that his head size and home run numbers grew exponentially because he drank gallons of milk and ate lots of Wheaties. Let's pretend he reported all of that memorabilia show cash. Gee, Barry is a swell guy.

Let's pretend you can think critically, Gene. As a sportswriter with a national audience, you could seize the opportunity to open a dialogue about the proper role of government. Ask some probing questions. Be a skeptic of power for once in your life. Here are some sample questions: Shouldn't the concept of self-ownership prevent the state from regulating what people put in their bodies? Baseball can choose to ban PEDs as a condition of employment but why should the use of PEDs/HGH be criminal? And shouldn't Americans be angry about how much we're taxed? Is there no area of commerce, including "show cash," that is beyond the greedy hands of the taxman? You know, stuff like that.

So tell me, then, why won't Anderson talk? If Bonds has done no wrong, what is there for Anderson to protect?

Ah, resorting to the Bush Administration's favored "You have nothing to fear if you've done nothing wrong!" argument for illegal wiretapping. Well played, sir. [claps wearily]

Instead, Anderson, who was convicted in 2005 of laundering money and distributing steroids, won't say a peep. He already has done one two-week stint in prison for refusing to appear in front of a grand jury. And it appears he'll do more time -- much more time -- if he does a Sammy Sosa and forgets how to speak English when a new grand jury convenes.

"They can subpoena him every day for the rest of the year and it doesn't matter," Mark Geragos, Anderson's lawyer, told reporters. "He's not going to talk."

Defiance doesn't go over real big with the U.S. Attorney's office, especially when the feds are convinced Anderson knows who took what performance-enhancing drugs and when they took them. In short, they think the man whose personal training business was named, "Get Big Productions," can explain exactly how Bonds, and others, got so huge.

He probably can but, once again, you fail to ask the critical question here: why is steroid use among ballplayers any of the feds' fucking business? Let's say that the use of Ecstasy among sportswriters was suspected to be rampant -- and given the quality and integrity demonstrated by the profession these days, that's a crazy fucking idea, I know -- but how would you feel about your best friend being subpoenaed and imprisoned for refusing to testify about your suspected use?

There are only so many reasons Anderson keeps pressing the mute button: (A) His grand jury testimony would implicate Bonds and, damn it, he's no snitch; (B) his testimony would be leaked to the media and, damn it, he doesn't want anybody to know he's a snitch; (C) he doesn't want to burn his boyhood friend; or (D) he's holding out for a deal.

I pick D, for Deal.

I pick E, for Refusing to Dignify This Publicity Whoring By Giving These Arrogant Pricks in the Federal Government What They Want.

All deals are the product of leverage. The feds have jail. Anderson has silence. My guess is that at some point the U.S. Attorney's office will offer something in exchange for Anderson's testimony. My other guess is that Anderson will take it. Otherwise, he will spend months … a year … perhaps more than a year, in prison. And for what? To protect Bonds, whose attorney Rains began to distance his client ever so slightly from Anderson a few days ago?

Interesting, since with most state endeavors, jail is all the feds have. The state produces nothing, provides nothing, invents nothing. But it does give us wars, prohibition, taxation, and jail. Good times.

Bonds initially said he thought substances given to him by Anderson in 2003 were flaxseed oil and anti-arthritic balm. But now Rains said Bonds was "suspicious" about whether they were performance enhancers. Expect more revisionist history in the coming months.

The feds can be ruthless, and I don't mean that in a good way, necessarily.

Whew, thank goodness you qualified that with "necessarily." For a second there I was afraid you might take a principled stand.

They don't care whether Anderson does more prison time. They don't care that Bonds has 722 career home runs and is beloved in the Bay Area. This isn't about manners. This is about separating fact from fiction.

This is about reminding people who's boss.

Bonds faces a federal trifecta: perjury, the use of illegal performance-enhancing drugs and tax evasion. If convicted, that means fines, jail time or both. So catching Hank Aaron or reaching the Hall of Fame is the least of his worries. Or should be. Even for the smug Bonds, it would be galactically stupid to underestimate the ferocity of the feds.

"Galactically stupid," good one. And you thought you could sneak that reference from "A Few Good Men" by us, you cheeky monkey.

What's next? For now, we hear the blustery sounds of indignant defense lawyers on courthouse steps. What we don't hear is Anderson. That silence, more than anything, speaks loudest.

Ugh. We also read the blustery prose of indignant sportswriters who lack both intellectual curiosity and a reporter's good old-fashioned nose for bullshit. Bravo, Gene. Bra-vo.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Someone please explain this one to me...

Reds swap Kearns to Nats for Clayton, pitchers

Is Reds GM Wayne Krivsky serious? Doing whippits? Here's the trade:

Reds trade:

Austin Kearns (Age 26, 14.9 VORP in '06)
Felipe Lopez (Age 26, 16.7 VORP in '06)
Ryan Wagner (Age 23, struggling in AAA this year)

Nats trade:

Gary Majewski (Age 26, 13.4 VORP)
Bill Bray (Age 23, 4.4 VORP; 45 Ks/9 BB in 31.2 AAA innings)
Royce Clayton (Age 36, 3.1 VORP)
Brendan Harris (Age 26, 32 major league ABs in 2006)
Daryl Thompson (pitching prospect: 4 GS, 6.2 innings in short season New York-Penn league)

So let's break this down:

The Nats get two everyday players entering their primes and a young reliever with potential.

The Reds get:

1. An utterly fungible middle reliever (Majewski) -- a guy whose component skills barely rise to set-up level, let alone closer in grooming
2. The rotting husk that used to be Royce Clayton
3. An infield prospect (Harris) whose career path is shaping up to be "Tony Graffanino utility" at best
4. A pitching prospect (Thompson) who might never throw a pitch above A-ball level
5. And a former college closer (Bray)

To be fair, Bray's minor league numbers are very good, and he does have a chance to contribute. But this deal is an unmitigated disaster for Cincinnati. You can make all the "Wayne Krivsky couldn't win my fantasy league" jokes you want, but seriously, how dumb do you have to be in order to get swindled by...Jim Bowden?

Somewhere, Cam Bonifay and Allard Baird look at Wayne Krivsky's Reds and nod approvingly...

Reason #1,765 Why I Love Fark.com...

...is this comment thread.

The submitter's headline was: "World's five billionth baby turns nineteen, plans to celebrate with Cuervo Gold, fine Columbian."

Fark's headlines typically contain obscure references, bad puns, and goofy in-jokes, but when these intersect with Steely Dan -- my favoritest recording artists EVAR -- well, it just about made my head explode. Nice to see that so many in the Fark community are funny AND erudite.

/not officially a Farker, only a lurker
//"Szechuan dumplings after the deal has been done"
///Nobody will get this post at all

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

One Year of Madness!


Hardly seems possible but it was one year ago today -- July 5, 2005 -- that I launched this li'l old foray into online obscurity. After (or despite?) 130 posts, 2,137 hits, a template redesign, and more than a few name changes, my love for this goofy hobby endures.

To celebrate, I'm busting out some old favorites from the past year:

Robinson & Schilling: Erase Stats After Failed Drug Tests (8/25/05)

Perdue Works to Stem Price Gouging (9/1/05)

In Defense of the A.J. Burnett Signing (sort of) (12/7/05)

In Defense of "Goldbuggery" (12/15/05)

John Schuerholz Still Doesn't Get "Moneyball" (4/16/06)

[You know it's a lazy summer when even blogs carry reruns.]

Sunday, July 02, 2006

The Unfree Country Chronicles III: "The united states of total paranoia"

As we spend this weekend reflecting on our nation's independence (through the time-honored traditions of cheeseburgers and pyrotechnics), consider the view from the outside:

The united states of total paranoia

I know Britain is full of incompetent water board officials and stabbed Glaswegians but even so I fell on my knees this morning and kissed the ground, because I’ve just spent three weeks trying to work in America.

It’s known as the land of the free and I’m sure it is if you get up in the morning, go to work in a petrol station, eat nothing but double-egg burgers — with cheese — and take your children to little league. But if you step outside the loop, if you try to do something a bit zany, you will find that you’re in a police state.

We begin at Los Angeles airport in front of an immigration official who, like all his colleagues, was selected for having no grace, no manners, no humour, no humanity and the sort of IQ normally found in farmyard animals. He scanned my form and noted there was no street number for the hotel at which I was staying.

“I’m going to need a number,” he said. “Ooh, I’m sorry,” I said, “I’m afraid I don’t have one.”

This didn’t seem to have any effect. “I’m going to need a number,” he said again, and then again, and then again. Each time I shrugged and stammered, terrified that I might be sent to the back of the queue or worse, into the little room with the men in Marigolds. But I simply didn’t have an answer.

“I’m going to need a number,” he said again, giving the distinct impression that he was an autobank, and that this was a conversation he was prepared to endure until one of us died. So with a great deal of bravery I decided to give him one. And the number I chose was 2,649,347.

This, it turned out, was fine. He’d been told by his superiors to get a number. I’d given him a number. His job was done and so, just an hour or so later, I was on the streets of Los Angeles doing a piece to camera.

(h/t to Fark)

Monday, June 12, 2006

When Liberals Attack!

At some point Sunday I slipped into the Twilight Zone. I learned why it's often said that politics and religion should never be discussed in polite company. To wit...

While at my friends Adam’s and Christie's yesterday (for their daughter’s 2nd birthday celebration, no less), I was introduced to their neighbor, “Glenn.” Glenn, a hardcore liberal Democrat, purportedly enjoyed a good political discussion so Adam thought it might be interesting to get us together and let hilarity ensue. You know, toss a couple of cats in a bag and let the fur fly, that sort of thing.

Now, for the most part, I’ve retired from political discussions at parties. For one thing, it’s not really appropriate. For another, I grew weary of being that guy at parties who won’t shut the hell up about Really Important Issues. That’s what this blog is for. So while I will politely discuss any issue at all, especially when prodded by friends who understand my perspectives, I attend parties to hang out and enjoy the company instead of engaging in wild-eyed, spittle-flecked fits of apoplexy. Anyway...

Our discussion started out amiably enough. I joked how Sunday should be a day of rest from the vitriol and Glenn agreed. The topic of Real Time With Bill Maher came up, and I proffered my complaints about the program, the greatest being that I wanted more perspectives represented. Instead of elevating the discourse about issues and ideas, the show often unravels into partisan bickering that’s only slightly funnier than the same crap that’s dished out on Fox News or CNN. My take was that both sides (left and right) were wrong and I wanted to hear somebody, anybody, challenge them. At this Glenn grimaced, gritted his teeth, and asked about my beliefs. Naturally, I described my aversion to the state and its coercion, depredations, and initiations of violence, and how I instead favored the voluntarist, market-based solutions of anarcho-capitalism.

Well, this guy nearly shit his pants.

What I hoped would be a polite and respectful exchange of ideas quickly escalated into a full-scale browbeating. Generously, let’s characterize his reactions to my beliefs as “paroxysms of incredulity.” Bulging eyes, furrowed brow, little vein at the temples twitching. Glenn pretty much wigged his shit: his behavior was boorish, disrespectful, and condescending. And he kept cutting me off! More than once I had to politely say, “Please let me finish.”

It quickly became apparent that a fruitful conversation would prove impossible, partly due to his attitude, but mostly because we had no basis for discussion. There is little sense in arguing normative or philosophical differences. I've arrived at my beliefs through a careful process of introspection and exploration. I even explained to the guy that I’d been where he was: throughout my ideological odyssey I'd flirted with left liberalism, right-wing conservatism, and big-L Libertarianism. Finally I realized that Rothbardian anarcho-capitalism rang most consistently true with my morals and principles. If you think taxation is perfectly legitimate while I feel it's institutionalized theft, well, what's the point in continuing the conversation? We can't even agree on the moral basics here and frankly I'd rather not waste my time. I'm no evangelist. I'm not trying to change anyone's mind.

[Besides, Glenn's beliefs are the ones that have been deemed mainstream and "acceptable" while mine have been marginalized as "crackpot" or "extremist" (even though Glenn's ideas put into practice harm me a hell of a lot more than mine would do to him). Why bother getting worked up over a fringe ideology?]

Anyway, at one point he seemed to calm down and our conversation became temporarily civil. But the cease-fire was fleeting and, despite my efforts to defuse the situation, it wasn't long before Glenn was red-lining again. He challenged me to “name one anarchic society that’s worked,” while I countered by defying him to name one state that would gladly put itself out of business; it’s not like the state likes competition! At this he abruptly stood up, shook my hand with a “nice talking to you,” and stormed out.

Honestly, I don’t get this behavior, AT ALL. Liberals and anarcho-capitalists aren’t natural enemies in the wild. We both hold especially sneering contempt for the neoconservatives whose rumps so prominently occupy the seats of power, so his reluctance to seek common ground was somewhat baffling. And to act like a petulant child instead of engaging me in an honest, open exchange of ideas…well, what’s the point? Never in my life have I felt threatened by someone else’s convictions. Rather, it’s important to be challenged in order to examine your beliefs critically so that you are able to defend (or reassess) them. I’m honestly curious about what other people believe – why they believe the things they do. Isn't learning something the big reason for having a dialogue?

[Don't get me wrong: I do not extrapolate from this experience that most liberals are like this. Most of my friends lean to the left and they are all very bright, fun, and rational people. But that guy's behavior? Rife with douchebaggery.]

So that was the capper to an otherwise phenomenal weekend. If you ever want to debate me about political issues, please confine it to this forum, because after yesterday I am D-U-N done with that bullshit...

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Wild Pitches: 5/24/06

Random baseball stuff I'm pondering...

  • Jeremy Brown to scouts and skeptics: suck it. The "fat catcher" from Oakland's Moneyball draft of 2002, who polarized scouts and statheads and thus became the symbol of their discontent, is tearing up AAA to the tune of .314/.384/.570 in 24 games. I can't wait for this guy to get called up...

  • Jeff Francoeur: swing hard in case you hit it. Much has been made of Francoeur's recent surge but let's not get carried away. With 2 walks on the season, he now boasts a lusty .273 OBP. Do you have any idea how hard it is to bat as often as Francoeur (193 ABs) and draw only 2 walks? Mark Mulder, a starting pitcher who used to toil in the American League, has already walked three times in 21 ABs this season. Hey Jeff, here's an idea: take a fucking pitch once in awhile.

  • Josh Willingham: Ken Phelps All-Star, McKeon's Folly. Finally given the opportunity to prove his worth, rookie Josh Willingham is having a terrific season, posting numbers of .269/.364/.487 in 43 games so far. Yet another example of the predictive power of minor league statistics and component skills analysis.

  • Question of the Day: Is Curt Schilling a Hall of Famer? He's on the cusp of 200 wins, owns two World Championships, and has been a dominant (if not quite elite level) pitcher throughout his career. On the downside, he's never won a Cy Young award or an ERA title, and his lifetime totals are (for now) modest compared to those already enshrined. Still, on the strengths of his peak value, positive showing on most HOF evaluation methods, and the mythology of the bloody sock, I think he gets in.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!

Today -- May 9 -- is my lovely wife's birthday! So if you get a chance, please feel free to send thoughts, well wishes, or virtual toasts to: tracy5973 *at* yahoo *dot* com.

Honey, if you're reading: I'm thinking of you and hope you're having a wonderful day. I adore you and wish you a very happy birthday!

Monday, May 01, 2006

Donald Fagen's "Morph the Cat"

For the past month or so I've been listening nonstop to Donald Fagen's new CD, "Morph the Cat." In short, it's amazing.

Written in the wake of 9/11, Fagen's third solo effort completes a trilogy of sorts. And in Fagen's typically sardonic style, the album's mellifluous vibe and comforting melodies mask some seriously dark undercurrents.

Though the album lacks some of the initial hooks of Steely Dan's 2003 "Everything Must Go," or even Fagen's previous solo projects (1982's "The Nightfly" and 1993's "Kamakiriad") it is undeniably Fagen: vaguely humorous allusions and inscrutable lyrics set ironically against a backbeat of jazz, lush harmonies, tight grooves, and unparalleled craftmanship. The themes and arrangements unfold and develop in natural, deliberate rhythms. Donald describes it beautifully:

Musically, Morph The Cat blends jazz, soul and other musical influences - not unlike Brother Ray [Charles] once did - with extended grooves and ever changing textures and a sort of musical ambition rarely heard anymore - think Aja set in current day Manhattan. “I like it when songs develop in some way and four minutes isn’t usually enough time for something to develop musically usually,” says Fagen. “I’m still kind of plugged into the Duke Ellington model - something akin to classical music - where you start with something, you develop it a little bit and stick with it. And when you get a groove going, time flies.”

Personal highlights for me include the title track, "Morph the Cat," along with "H Gang," "Security Joan," and "Mary Shut the Garden Door." Donald displays an uncharacteristically political side in "Mary" as described by the liner notes: "Paranoia blooms when a thuggish cult gains control of the government" (Fagen confesses this song was written right after the Republican convention came to Manhattan). The song features a haunting melodica solo by Fagen and a vivid tableau of jackbooted terror set in the opening verses:

They came in under the radar
When our backs were turned around
In a fleet of Lincoln Town Cars
They rolled into our town
Confounded all six senses
Like an opiate in the brain
Mary shut the garden door
Looks a lot like rain

Mary shut the garden door
Mary shut the garden door

We pounded Rachel's radio
For reports about the bridge
There was nothing on but static
Nothing in the fridge
We lay there listening to the wind
Whistling through the pines
When we heard the engines idling
Saw the headlights through the blinds

This is a beautiful and intensely personal album. Do yourself a favor and check it out.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Joe Morgan Will Never Get 'Moneyball'

Fantastic work cutting down the latest Joe Morgan chat by Ken Tremendous of the supremely hilarious FIRE JOE MORGAN blog. Over the years I've found Joe's grating arrogance to be more a source of amusement than a firing offense, but he made several head-shakingly stupid comments in his latest chat. With apologies to KT, I'd like to pile on where I think he ladled out insufficient abuse:

Joe Morgan: The guy that wrote Moneyball can't teach me about the game. That is what I meant. If you haven't been on the field, why should I read your book? How can that person teach me about the game? I learn plenty about the game everyday. Every Sunday night I learn something. The game changes almost every day. But I'm still not going to read Moneyball or books written by people who haven't been on the field or really experienced what goes on in the game of baseball.

And later on...

I want to clarify the misunderstand [sic] about what I learn. Every Sunday I learn something new. But I'm going to stand by the fact that somebody who didn't play the game can't teach me about the game. I learned from the best, the legends who played the game. I played alongside so many great players. I'm just not going to read a book in hopes of learning how to play baseball. But this is an everchanging game and I do learn something almost every day. I'm just a former baseball player who is now an analyst. My thoughts are about the game and not medical technologies and such. Just because somebody writes a book doesn't mean they know the game.

These statements are so stupendously, forehead-slappingly moronic, it's hard to believe this guy is ever taken seriously. Let's parse, shall we?

But I'm going to stand by the fact that somebody who didn't play the game can't teach me about the game.

Bollocks. This whole premise is sheer bollocks. That's like Bill Clinton saying that political scientists who study polls, demographics, and voter trends can teach him nothing about predicting election results because they never ran for office. Geez, Joe, was it the sailors or the scientists who first realized that the earth was round?

I'm just not going to read a book in hopes of learning how to play baseball.

WTF? See, that's part of the problem, Joe. Moneyball is not an instructional pamphlet. If you want to learn how to play baseball, then I suggest you consult the Tom Emanski videos endorsed by Fred McGriff and his gigantic cap. If you want to learn about how Billy Beane outfoxes richer clubs through the creative application of basic economic concepts...never mind.

Just because somebody writes a book doesn't mean they know the game.

And, sadly, just because somebody is an Emmy-winning baseball analyst and Hall of Fame player doesn't mean they know the game, either.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

John Schuerholz Still Doesn't Get "Moneyball"

This point-counterpoint comes courtesy of Braves GM John Schuerholz's new book, Built to Win. Perhaps I'll post a full review once I've finished reading it but, for now, it's Chapter 2 ("Gentlemen, Start Your Moneyball Arguments") that has me all fired up. With apologies to FIRE JOE MORGAN:

Moneyball contends that the low-budget A's, forced to play little checkbook baseball, were able to win their division in 2003 and contend during recent seasons by primarily cobbling together an economy roster of inexpensive kids and scrap heap vets on the basis of some trendy statistical analysis.

Gentlemen, start your strawman arguments! This "trendy statistical analysis" you speak of. Please, tell me more about your understanding of it.

This "revolutionary" formula virtually discards not only the trained eye of seasoned scouts, bunting and base stealing, but brands as meaningless the value of an effective closer.

No, no, NO. Nobody's discarding anything; the point of Moneyball was to reassess the traditional assumptions that have driven player evaluation and acquisition. So in rebuttal:

1) Seasoned scouts are fine but the Moneyball approach concedes that they are prone to subjective judgments and human biases. By combining a scout's observations with objective statistical measurements, you get a clearer picture of a player's true potential. Statistics are a tool best used in tandem with scouting and these tools should complement one another. This doesn't have to be a zero sum game.

2) Bunting and base stealing are fine in certain situations. You just have to understand the risks and rewards since you have a finite supply of outs to use each game -- 27 is all you get. Wasting them with sacrifices and poor baserunning is probably not the optimal way for your offense to operate.

3) Closers are "meaningless?" Says who? Not the A's, as evidenced by their employment of Jason Isringhausen, Keith Foulke, Octavio Dotel, and Huston Street. Next.

The basic Moneyball theory is, substantially, on-base percentage for position players and groundball outs for pitchers -- a pure statistical way to put a team together.

Well, sure, if you actually want to win. Bill James studied these issues years ago, and his regression analysis determined that on-base percentage was the highest correlate for scoring runs. Which should be the focal point of the offense. And groundballs are a laudable goal since they're tough to hit over the fence and even better for inducing double plays. But true Moneyballers will tell you to stock up on power pitchers since strikeouts remove nearly all the vagaries of balls in play. But whatever.

In fairness, Moneyball made for a good read, even though I feel the basic premise is terribly flawed.

In fairness to Schuerholz, at least he's read the book, unlike some of its less enlightened critics. But to reiterate: no, no, NO. Moneyball was not just about stats. The book explains a system for identifying and exploiting inefficiencies in the player marketplace. The premise is that it's possible to use statistics to identify undervalued or underappreciated commodities languishing in the minor leagues or on major league benches -- replacement players that are freely available and far cheaper than "established" major leaguers. The idea is to outflank your deep pocketed rivals by getting 75%+ of the production of a high-priced free agent at 25% (or less) of the cost. If anything, Moneyball is about the efficient employment of resources even more than statistical analysis.

And the application of economics, where Moneyball is concerned, is about more than money. To fully appreciate the lessons of Moneyball, the savvy reader needs to have a basic understanding of the principles of economics. For example, baseball GMs need to understand and appreciate concepts such as supply and demand, opportunity cost, and the idea of replacement level talent in order to succeed in a dynamic marketplace. Understanding and applying these concepts can mean the difference between being on the right or wrong side of a Brian Giles for Ricardo Rincon or Bobby Abreu for Kevin Stocker trade.

In a sense, Schuerholz is an unwitting proponent of Moneyball principles. The Braves have never overpaid for a closer, either in a trade or via free agency, throughout Schuerholz's tenure. And this is much to John's credit. Schuerholz intuitively understands that it's insane to pay relief pitchers tons of money because of some magical "closer" designation, where value is bound up in managerial usage patterns rather than some intrinsic skill set on the part of the pitcher. While the Mets overpay for Billy Wagner, Schuerholz acquires decent relievers at bargain basement prices, and any one of them could mature into the closer role. It makes little sense to overpay for a role when cheaper talent is there for the grooming. And when a guy gets too expensive, the Braves let him go and start the process anew. The formula has worked for 15 years, with such luminaries as Alejandro Pena, Mike Stanton, Greg McMichael, Mark Wohlers, Kerry Ligtenberg, John Rocker, and Kyle Farnsworth ably handling the job. Though Schuerholz might not acknowledge it, this is as much a Moneyball concept as anything, and it's surprising that more teams haven't tried to emulate this pattern.

It's infuriating that Schuerholz is so dismissive of a philosophy that, properly understood and deployed, might have made the Braves even better. Schuerholz is quick to crow about his successes, citing the good value he got from Julio Franco and Jaret Wright despite their questionable pedigrees. OK, fine. But he doesn't satisfactorily address the misses. Yes, he touches on the failed chance they took on Raul Mondesi, but the Schuerholz era is littered with bad decisions and contracts, failures that any Moneyballer could have anticipated, including: Rico Brogna, Albie Lopez, Vinny Castilla, Walt Weiss, Mike Hampton, Danny Kolb, B.J. Surhoff, Jose Hernandez, Rey Sanchez, etc.

It all comes back to the concept of opportunity cost. Doling out money and roster spots to mediocrities like those guys takes away resources that could be used on better players. We see that the Braves have won fourteen consecutive division crowns, but what we don't see (and can never know) is how much better they might have been (115 regular season wins? A couple more World Series titles?) with improved strategies, processes, player acquisitions, etc. And the whole point of Moneyball is that you don't have to break the bank to get better players. It just requires taking a chance on unproven talent, trusting your system, and having the courage to see it through rather than taking the safe, uncreative solution of wasting money on "proven" mediocrities.

Under John Schuerholz's stewardship, we'll never know how much better the Braves could be by integrating Moneyball concepts into their team building approach. That Schuerholz seems so hostile to the new thinking, rather than seeking to use it to reassess and complement his own methods, is the real flaw here.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Sometimes the Headlines Just Write Themselves

ATF rids Univ. of ninja threat
BY CAROLINE ERVIN
Published , April 12, 2006, 06:00:01 AM EDT

ATF agents are always on alert for anything suspicious — including ninjas.

Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearm agents, on campus Tuesday for Project Safe Neighborhoods training, detained a “suspicious individual” near the Georgia Center, University Police Chief Jimmy Williamson said.

Jeremiah Ransom, a sophomore from Macon, was leaving a Wesley Foundation pirate vs. ninja event when he was detained.

After being held in investigative detention, he was found to have violated no criminal laws and was not arrested.



Jeremiah Ransom unwittingly serves as a metaphor for the true nature of the relationship between the ATF and American citizens.


[...]

Ransom was wearing black sweatpants and an athletic T-shirt with one red bandanna covering the bottom half of his face and another covering the top of his head, Williamson said.

“Seeing someone with something across the face, from a federal standpoint — that’s not right,” McLemore said, explaining why agents believed something to be amiss.


Normally, this is where I would add snarky, outraged commentary. Is it even necessary in this case?


(h/t to
deadspin)

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Happy Birthday to Me!

I know, I know: this is a shameless and borderline outrageous act of self-promotion and attention-whoring, but today -- April 12, 2006 -- marks my 33rd birthday and I'm in the mood to celebrate. And, seriously, what better way to celebrate your birthday than by attending Passover seder at Dick and Harry's (yes, those are my actual plans tonight)? Who needs cake? Pass the karpas and the Manischewitz, man. We're partying HARD.

Eh. Anyway, check out the always enlightening Wikipedia for more information about this stellar day. It's how I discovered that the famed American poet Ogden Nash actually composed verse about today's date. The poem is titled, oddly enough, "Lines in Praise of a Date Made Praiseworthy Solely By Something Very Nice That Happened to It:"

Lines in Praise of a Date Made Praiseworthy Solely by Something Very Nice That Happened to It

As through the calendar I delve
I pause to rejoice in April twelve.

Yea, be I in sickness or be I in health
My favorite date is April twealth.

It comes upon us, as a rule,
Eleven days after April fool,

And eighteen days ahead of May Day
When spring is generally in its heyday.

Down in New Mexico the chapparal
Is doing nicely by the twelfth of Apparal,

And Bay State towns such as Lowell and Pepperell
Begin to bloom on the twelfth of Epperell.

But regardless of the matter of weather,
There isn't any question whether.

No, not till the trumpet is blown by Gabriel
Shall we have such a day as the twelfth of Abriel.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Post-Mortem on the 2005-2006 UConn Huskies

Sorry for the lack of updates lately, my lovelies. Time management has never been a strength and I'm still adjusting to my new reality. Anyway...

This should be my last UConn post for awhile. Several people gingerly offered consolation after UConn lost to George Mason in the regional final, and they even remarked on how well I handled it. Of course I was upset but, honestly, much relieved when it was all over. This team labored under intense pressure and scrutiny all season. They were anointed preseason co-favorites (along with Duke) and thus faced an uphill climb just to meet expectations every game.

And the pressure was only intensified by the transitory nature of the roster; with four seniors (Denham Brown, Hilton Armstrong, Rashad Anderson, and Ed Nelson) graduating and three more players (Marcus Williams, Rudy Gay, and Josh Boone) all but certain to leap to the NBA, the season would be judged by two agonizingly polar extremes: national championship or bust. Few teams can thrive under that kind of microscope and the Huskies seemed to sense it as the season progressed.

But what disappointed me was not the loss itself -- it's how they were ironically done in by the strengths they'd relied upon all season (defense, rebounding, and blocks). Here, check out the regular season numbers (30 games) vs. NCAA tournament games (4 games):

--Opponent FG%: regular season 37.3%; tournament 46.1%
--Rebound Margin: regular season +10.5; tournament +2.0
--Blocked Shots: regular season 9.3 per game; tournament 4.5 per game

Now, I realize that four tournament games represent a tiny sample size against (by definition) strong competition, but the numbers do tell a story. UConn's defense failed to execute in the tourney like it did during the regular season. George Mason shot 5 of 6 in overtime -- season over.

I'm disappointed that kids like Denham Brown and Hilton Armstrong ended their careers on such a low note. They won a national championship as sophomores and I hope people remember that as their legacy instead of the stunned #1 seed. They gave us four great years and I'll remember them fondly.

OK, now on to the look ahead. I like the composition of the 2006-2007 roster. They'll look more like a "traditional" UConn team -- a little smaller than recent teams but with better guard play and perimeter shooting. Jeff Adrien, Craig Austrie, and Marcus Johnson return and should be even better after a year of seasoning (although Johnson barely played in the season's second half). A.J. Price should finally take the court after two tumultuous years battling health and legal problems. The recruits look nasty: UConn's 2006 class is consistently ranked among the nation's best by most outlets. The Huskies will be very young but extremely athletic; the talented youngsters could contribute right away and the team might surprise some people.

Already I can't wait for next season!

Friday, March 31, 2006

The Problem With Unions, In a Nutshell

PHILADELPHIA - This city's hoped-for bragging rights as home of America's
tallest environmentally friendly building could go down the toilet.

In a city where organized labor is a force to be reckoned with, the
plumbers union has been raising a stink about a developer's plans to install 116
waterless, no-flush urinals in what will be Philadelphia's biggest
skyscraper.

Developer Liberty Property Trust says the urinals would save 1.6
million gallons of water a year at the 57-story Comcast Center, expected to open
next year.

But the union put out the word it doesn't like the idea of waterless
urinals — fewer pipes mean less work.


There you go. Property rights, freedom of contract, and common sense must be cast aside to accommodate a bunch of whiny, overpaid, officious assholes. These jerks are subverting the market process (for labor and materials) as if they have some right to work at the expense of the property owner. That's criminal. And the city's licensing department can actually reward this childish, anti-market behavior by refusing to approve waterless urinals.

Do you think these guys might have a problem with the Water Dept. dictating to them what kind of fixtures they can install in their homes? "Sorry sir, but your low-flow toilet deprives us of increased usage and revenue. You'll have to install something more costly." That would piss off just about anyone, wouldn't it? So why do these union goons think it's OK to pull the same stunt?

h/t to Fark.com

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Update Teaser

Overpromising and underdelivering seem to be a running theme here but I do have a few things rattling around in my noggin to share. It's way too late for me to blog at my preferred level but look soon for substantive posts covering the following:

  • George Mason 86, UConn 84 (OT). I'll have a post-mortem on the 2005-2006 Huskies and a look ahead to next year.
  • I saw "V for Vendetta" over the weekend. Although I was looking for more explicit voice to the themes and ideas of the amazing graphic novel, the film was excellent and I will post a thorough review shortly.
  • Bill Maher's "Real Time" roundtable discussion program on HBO is generally good but its shortcomings may eclipse its virtues. I'll explain.
  • You know them, you love them: it's another installment of the "Unfree Country Chronicles," this time starring the great state of Texas in an outrageous display of criminalizing a state of mind.
Until then...

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Survive and Advance!

My apologies for the lack of updates lately. I started the new job this week and have lacked the usual time and energy normally reserved for blogging. Anywho...

UConn 98, Washington 92 (OT). Wow. I missed significant chunks of the second half thanks to the local CBS affiliate broadcasting Florida-G'town instead. I tried unsuccessfully to get the game through PPV via DirecTV and that proved to be a debacle worthy of its own post. Too tired to pick myself up to head to a smoky sports bar, I settled for monitoring the game's progress via the ticker in the upper-left hand corner of the screen. Keeping tabs on a game that way is not recommended.

Despite Rashad's miracle trey to send the game into OT, this game ranks fifth at best among the pantheon of all-time great UConn NCAA wins. For one thing, as the #1 seed, they were expected to win (that's the lousy thing about rooting for the consensus "best team in the country" -- since winning is expected, you don't enjoy it as much. It feels more like relief than joy). More importantly, it's hard to call that game a "classic" because UConn was downright lousy for significant stretches. Here are my Top 5 best/classic UConn tournament wins:

1. 1990 Regional Semi-Final: UConn 71, Clemson 70. "It's Late, it's Tate, it's Fate." The phone lines in CT were literally jammed after Tate George's turnaround baseline jumper beat the Tigers. Unbelievable game that presaged UConn's status as a tournament force. Everyone remembers Tate but UConn fans will forever love Scotty Burrell (who was then a freshman) for his perfect full-court pass in the ultimate pressure situation.

2. 1999 National Championship: UConn 77, Duke 74. Trajan Langdon travels against Ricky Moore's tenacious defense, Khalid El-Amin calmly sinks two free throws to ice the game, and the Huskies shock the nation's consensus best team (37-1 entering the game) for their first national championship. And I was there!

3. 2004 National Semi-Final: UConn 79, Duke 78. An instant classic. Calhoun masterfully outflanks Coach K by recognizing early the tightness of the officiating. Calhoun sat Emeka Okafor, who picked up two cheap fouls early, for much of the first half despite the team's early struggles. With Duke in foul trouble late (especially Shelden Williams), Calhoun unleashes Okafor in the second half, and the big guy responds with 18 second-half points and the decisive hoop in a furious 12-0 run that capped the winning rally.

4. 1998 Regional Semi-Final: UConn 75, Washington 74. Rip Hamilton grabs Jake Voskuhl's miss and swishes a fall-away shot in the paint as time expires. One of those classic, "I remember where I was" games (Jock's & Jills in Brookhaven -- the place went nuts when Rip scored). Though the Huskies would lose the Regional Final to a loaded North Carolina team (featuring Antawn Jamison and Vince Carter, and in Greensboro no less) the team showed the pluck and fortitude that would characterize 1999's championship squad.

5. 2004 National Championship: UConn 82, Georgia Tech 74. A classic payback ass-kicking that didn't show up in the final score. UConn avenged GT's 77-61 victory in November with a dominating performance. Tech had no answer for Okafor or Ben Gordon and the deadly inside-out tandem would go second and third respectively in that year's NBA draft.

5a. 2006 Regional Semi-Final: UConn 98, Washington 92 (OT). The epitome of winning ugly. People will recall Rashad's ridiculous 3 with 1.8 seconds left but the real story was Marcus Williams donning the Superman cape again. And Calhoun has no right to complain about officiating again for a long time: UConn went to the line 47 times (vs. 23 for Washington).

Sorry for the digression. Here is why I think they'll win it all -- UConn's margin for error is far greater than any other team's. All-American Rudy Gay was all but invisible (4-10 shooting, 3 rebounds, and 6 turnovers in 32 minutes). They shot a meager 12-21 from the line in the first half (but went 8-8 in OT). They gave up 17 offensive rebounds to a much smaller team. They trailed by double figures in the second half. And then there was the usual nemesis: the team committed 26 turnovers!

(In order to say "26 turnovers" properly, yell it in the same mix of outrage and disbelief as Dante in "Clerks" did when he found out how many, um, "tongue-lashings" (37) his girlfriend had performed in the past. Getting it out really makes you feel better)

All of these negatives, and yet I'm still waiting for them to put together a complete game in this tournament and just blow somebody away. A game where they minimize turnovers, make smart decisions, display focus and intensity, play ferocious defense (that had been missing until the second half last night), and crush the opposition on the glass. Whether it's against George Mason tomorrow or (assuming they get there) somewhere in the Final Four, I still believe it's coming.

Regional Final Fearless Predictions:

1. Atlanta: Texas 68, LSU 64
2. Oakland: Memphis 76, UCLA 73
3. Minneapolis: Florida 72, Villanova 71
4. Washington D.C.: UConn 80, George Mason 72

More to come after UConn-GM goes final tomorrow...

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

NCAA Tournament Bracket Musings: Worthless Opinion Edition

To those who prefer fevered anarchist rantings over fevered sports rantings, my apologies. Without further ado, my first ever Haphazardly Organized NCAA Tournament Bracket Musings:

Best First Round Matchup: Probably Arizona vs Wisconsin, Minneapolis Region. Runner-up: Alabama vs Marquette (Oakland Region) is an intriguing matchup.

First Round Upset Potential: Every year I pick one or two 11s over a 6 and it seems to be a sucker bet. I'm still taking UW-Milwaukee over Oklahoma (that's for you, Wayne) but I'm backing off my initial San Diego St. over Indiana pick. My bracket this year looks very conservative; I'm not picking nearly as many first round upsets as years past. This decision will probably look fantastically stupid by Friday morning. Anyway, bracket glory requires successfully picking a 12 seed over a 5, and Utah State over Washington seems the fashionable choice. But I also think Syracuse is vulnerable against Texas A&M; the Orange had a magical run through the Big East championship but teams sometimes leave their best efforts back in the conference tourneys. I can see a post-Big East title hangover setting in for the Orange. Syracuse advances if Gerry McNamara continues his stellar play. I'm going to pick them in the first round but it could be closer than many people think.

Best Potential Second Round Matchup: (Tie) 3-North Carolina vs. 6-Michigan State (Washington D.C.); 5-Pitt vs 4-Kansas (Oakland).

The First #1 Seed Out Will Be: (Tie) I have Memphis bowing out to Kansas in the Sweet Sixteen; Villanova falling just short against BC also in the Sweet Sixteen. If Villanova had a different draw (say, Duke's), I'd not hesitate to put them in the Final Four.

The First #2 Seed Out Will Be: Ohio State in the second round against Georgetown. (When Georgetown loses to Northern Iowa in the first round, I will ritualistically immolate my bracket and take down this post.)

My Final Four: UConn, Duke, BC, and Kansas.

National Champion: UConn over Duke (what, you thought I'd pick against my Huskies???)

A Couple More Random Thoughts:

  1. I'm a Big East fan but their teams fuck up my brackets every single year. I'm constantly victimized by the "exposure effect." Pitt always falls short of where I think they can be (I finally wised up and picked them to lose to Pacific last year) but you pick against them at your own risk. I can see them knocking off Kansas even though I picked Kansas to go to the Final Four. Anyway, every year I overestimate Big East teams and my bracket ends up in tatters by the end of the tournament's first weekend. Despite boasting eight tournament teams (and it should be nine but Cincy got hosed) and the undisputed Best Conference belt, I'm not going crazy with Big East teams this time. I have just Georgetown, UConn, and Villanova in my Sweet Sixteen. So naturally, we'll probably see a repeat of 1985 (three Big East teams in the Final Four). I hate my bracket already.
  2. The Pac-10, too, is completely unpredictable for me. I will freely admit to East Coast Bias, the bete noire of the Left Coast sports fan. UCLA is another one of those teams that fucks up my bracket annually. They tend to go the opposite of wherever I have them, so I apologize in advance to any UCLA fans who inadvertently stumbled here: I have the Bruins going to the Elite Eight this time, which means they're guaranteed to lose in the second round against the winner of Marquette-Alabama. Sorry.

My Team is the Consensus Pick for National Champion and I'm...Cautiously Optimistic? (Or, "I'm Ron Burgundy...?")

The national media is way too bullish on UConn's title chances. Maybe it's the salty, pessimistic New Englander in me, but I'm less sanguine about their chances. I have high hopes but it's clear this team is talented and flawed. Most talent in the country? I think so. Star players? Yep. Depth? Loads. Great coaching? Calhoun's a Hall of Famer and two-time national champion. So what's the problem? In no particular order: focus, intensity, and turnovers. They have all the traits of a national champion (experience, depth, great defense and rebounding, etc.) but too often their heads are up their asses for long periods. You can get away with that crap against South Florida in February but not against Illinois in March. UConn's seniors make too many freshman mistakes. I hold my breath every time Denham Brown dribbles the ball in the open court, begging for him not to lose control, get stripped, or get trapped. The next time Rashad Anderson fights through a screen to defend a shooter will be the first time. Plus, when Rash is cold, he's likely to shoot them right out of the game.

And on and on. How does a team with Marcus Williams running the point turn the ball over so damn much? They're just careless with the rock and it drives me batshit -- ill-conceived interior passes, home-run lobs that get deflected, not coming back to the ball to help a teammate being trapped or doubled, etc. When the Huskies play smart basketball, they can overwhelm even a talented opponent. But the way to beat them is to attack. This team should shred the press apart but they are way too tentative. Teams have some success attacking UConn's shotblockers on the interior; sure they'll get a few swatted, but the Huskies will go for head fakes, and their weakside help can lead to easy offensive rebounds and put-backs. Boone and Armstrong will also get into occasional foul trouble.

Without Boone and Armstrong in the lineup together, it's much harder for the team to establish its inside play, which is predicated on Williams spreading the floor, distributing to the big men, and getting easy baskets or kickouts for open jumpers from Brown or Anderson. That's it though; that's the offense. When the team struggles to establish its game in the paint and the jumpers aren't falling for the wing players, the half-court offense can wilt. Rudy Gay should be the guy to step up and lead the team with clutch baskets during these stretches but usually he disappears instead. Williams then takes it upon himself to make something happen, which he can do at times with dribble penetration and pull up floaters, but teams eventually stymie him and then the offense really goes into a funk.

I'm still picking UConn to win the national title because of their superior talent and myriad matchup problems for most teams. Nobody can match them on the interior. Their defense, rebounding, and shotblocking are unparalleled. Boone, Brown, Anderson, and Armstrong have championship experience. Calhoun is a master motivator. When UConn fires on all cylinders, like they did against Syracuse in the regular season (twice), the Villanova game at home, and the Seton Hall game, they're scary good.

The question is whether they can put it together for 6 consecutive tournament games -- I'm betting they can, because their best effort still outstrips the best anyone else can muster. But I'm worried about the unanimity with which the national experts have anointed UConn champion -- have all these experts watched as many UConn games as I have? The Huskies are plenty talented but will they be focused, smart, hungry, and tough enough?

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

The Unfree Country Chronicles, Vol II: Unpasteurized Milk Edition

State gets tough on drinking...milk
Fans of unpasteurized product create 'white market' to get raw goods

Sunday, March 05, 2006
John Horton
Plain Dealer Reporter

Pssst . . . got raw milk?

Christina Trecaso does; the unpasteurized product -- which is illegal to sell in Ohio -- is chilling in the refrigerator at her Copley Township home. Just don't ask Trecaso where she acquired the fresh-from-the-farm liquid. The underground doesn't share its secrets.

The Summit County mother of two oversees Northeast Ohio's "white market," a network that supplies raw milk to more than 120 local families. Drop-off points exist in Akron, Broadview Heights, Cuyahoga Falls, Copley Township, Gates Mills and Lakewood.

Similar cooperatives -- which involve participants pooling money to buy "herd shares" at dairy farms and circumvent the ban on raw milk sales -- exist around Columbus, Dayton and Toledo.

In essence, the setup works a legal loophole. A group buys the cows on the farm, not the milk, and pays the farmer a monthly boarding and management fee. State law does not prohibit individuals from drinking raw milk taken from their own cows.

"We know what we want," said Trecaso, 36. "And there are ways to get it."

Opening that barn door is drawing notice, however. The Ohio Department of Agriculture is investigating the legality of the herd-share arrangement, said LeeAnne Mizer, a spokeswoman for the agency. She said there are public health concerns about the growing number of people consuming raw milk products.

Ohio outlawed raw milk sales to consumers in 1997. In 2003, the last dairy farm grandfathered into selling unpasteurized milk to individuals relinquished its license following a salmonella outbreak.

Raw milk can carry disease-causing organisms that cause a host of foodborne illnesses, according to health officials.

"Is raw milk worth the risk?" asked Mizer. "This state doesn't think so."


Pardon the horrendous pun, but holy fucking cow!

It's incredibly naive to think this issue is about "public health concerns" and "salmonella outbreaks." For another perspective, read the whole story and some of the discussion about it here. And leave aside the debate about the alleged benefits and risks of drinking fresh vs. pasteurized milk; it's really beside the point. What's most interesting is the state's cavalier attitude (ding! Horrendous pun #2! Get it? Cleveland Cavaliers? OK, I'm a moron) toward Ohioans' right to self-ownership.

Listen to the arrogance oozing from LeeAnne fucking Mizer; what a typically snotty, officious bureaucrat: "Is raw milk worth the risk? This state doesn't think so." With those eleven little words, Mizer sums up tyranny and the nanny state's attitude toward its subjects, doesn't she? When the state's "judgment" supercedes that of its so-called free people, that is not freedom. When "free" people are not permitted to make informed choices and live with the risks and consequences thereof, that is tyranny.

And we're not talking about the "choice" of initiating violence or force against others so don't even bother trying that pathetic strawman with me. This is about what individuals choose to put in their bodies. If you are legally barred from making so fundamental choice on your own, then you are not free, you belong to whomever is legally empowered to make that decision for you. You are a ward of the state.

Self-ownership is the most basic property right imaginable. When are we going to stand up and tell the LeeAnne Mizers of the world to just shut the fuck up?

(h/t to Fark.com)